It's up to you
to decide
upon
the person
you will become—
and, no matter the decision
you make
about
the integrity
of your character—
out there,
amongst the stars,
your destiny
is patiently awaiting
your choice
so that
it can
change
the world

The Desert Chrysalsis

Love
is transformative,
a variety of medicine
that tempers
the hard-rigid
outer layer
of soul
by perforating
greatly
the dispensable
guide
of self
until
those higher vibrations within
are engaged and developed
and brought forth
with a new
and refined
integrity—
an ecdysis of sorts—
and whether given
or received
love remains delicate,
like the wings
of a butterfly
at the tail end
of an epic migration,
yet
forceful enough
to pull
the heart
towards
divine proclivities,
as the moon
pulls the tides
and shapes the world
naturally

Gratefulness

Gratefulness is a word
that expands the mind
to the unlimited possibilities

of heart-astounding wonder,
that provides an escape
from the prison
of suffering
created

by the mind
to contain itself.
Except,
gratefulness is not just a word;
it is a feeling
that can dissolve
the ceiling
of limitation
and reveal
a cosmic world
of everlasting peace
and beauty
and
mindfulness.
Gratefulness if like a flower,
a sweet
and delicate
teardrop of the sky
waiting
to bloom for you
and nourish
that pocket
of your soul
searching
for honey.

First Snow

When the first snow of the year finally hits,

a wonderful silence permeates the air.

It dampens

the profound echoing of the buddha

mountains,

and the singing of the trees,

leaving only the wind to howl as it howls and barks

through the groaning canyons of antiquity.

It's this same dampening

coming to me

when the eyes are closed,

when the rhythm of the breath and my beating heart

sweep me away

in a holy trance.

The same charging silence.

The same

perfectly choreographed thoughtlessness

springing forth from the void.

Healing all the loneliness

the hopelessness-

erasing any sickness of the mind.

It hits you for a moment.

And when fading,

you realize: "It is coming.

So I don't have to wait

for it

any more."

One Rock Dharma

A Moment of Inspiration

The sun never sets on a September sky
It just keeps blazing
With that white golden light of eternity
And it dangles from pursed lips
Like the ember at the end of a cigarette
Waiting
Out
That slippery slope
Of inspiration and its translation
Into something communicable
That delicate balance of panic and patience
Not all of us have it
Some of us wish for it
Some of us let it fade away
That precise moment of clarity
When the sun hits the lips
And the world is speaking
Of a beautiful creature
That never dies

War

War- in its cruelest form

gifts a man with conflict

so that he knows

the horror of darkness

and can make a promise

after the war has been seen through

to retire to a quiet place

where the birds can sing

and the sweet smell of spring flowers

can draft through the house

on warm, sunny afternoons—

but he never forgets

that festering whore of war

where the soul is lost

and mankind sees their most dreadful days—

except in the most extraordinary of ways

war is the only way

a man can know peace

truly

in his heart

after living the loss of it,

and with absolute resolve

commit

to hold peace close

and never let

it be pillaged
again

Revival

There is a droplet of the universe

descending from the heavens—

A clear, luminescent bulb

of an electric orb—

Pulsing.

Beating.

I see its colors,

spreading out like veins

as it pulsates—

An image in my mind

of a cell

with infinite dendrites

all connected together,

all interconnected together—

the variegate web—

I see it coming

down,

to stroke my cheek—

the sweet shocking clip of a raindrop

on the jowl

it touches

and then is gone—

But I can’t stop thinking

about the fantasy
of it becoming me

Sun and Bugs

SUN AND BUGS

So many a-bugs congregate beneath the lights of street lamps

Believing it to be their sun

Little do they know, that another

Rests 10 feet away

With a separate population

But all the street lights shine brilliantly

Beneath a vibrant half moon

Illuminating the sky

And all bugs that reside beneath each street lamp

Are in love with the same bright light

That lies within an even greater light, the moon

And that, to me, is God

The lighting of street lamps

And the shining of the moon

And it all exists so perfectly together

Without any streetlight having anything to do with the moon

And any bug interfering with the light except to bask in it

Because the unity underlying all life

Is that we all seek to bask in the light

With out ever really knowing

Whether or not the same light

Rests 10 feet away

Themes

The Infinite

Nature of Light

Everything is Cyclical

There is a particular aspect of poetry that should, in the words of John Keats, “soothe and embolden the soul to accept mystery.”  Poetry doesn’t always fill in every gap or make plain the story being told; much is open to interpretation.  Sometimes the power of a poem evolves out of its mystery, much like music, which would not exist without its counterpart— silence.

I’m talking about bugs but I’m not really talking about bugs.  The reference is there to start you out on a microcosmic level before expanding out and referencing the infinite.  A population of bugs beneath a street lamp may seem as a world unto itself.  But a population of bugs is intricately intertwined with countless other populations, some of which are servants to, perhaps, a more illustrious source of light.

The streetlamps are there to accredit a specific method, approach, or design to worship God.  And although that naked truth is not directly stated, the allusion is to that of light— bringer of the divine, an envoy of awakening.  The streetlamp is not divinity itself, but a conduit for divinity.  As an example, organized religions are mediums for worship.  Muslims may have a specific text to pay homage to, or have daily practices, all of which honor and glorify their interpretation of what is right and what should be exalted.  And those practices and those texts may be very different for the Buddhist man who spends hours a day meditating or a Catholic woman who speaks with a priest to atone for her sins.  But each and every one of those spiritual trajectories are magnificent in that they find beauty in the divine and purpose for it— divinity elevates the mundane and considers every process towards its discovery as sacred.  In this respect, those who worship divinity all worship the same essence, which is why I say: “all bugs that reside beneath each street lamp are in love with the same bright light.”

The moon is there to play the part of a greater force, again suggesting the possibility of infinite layers of worship and indeterminable confines for divinity.  And how do we know whether or not we are like bugs to a streetlamp, admiring what we refer to as our sun?  There is no way to know, and that is the mystery.  But isn’t it beautiful?  Isn’t it transcendent?

So if we are all in love with the same bright light, it should all exist so perfectly together.  Without any streetlamp having anything to do with the moon.  And no bug interfering with the light except to bask in it.

Balance

The key to balance is finding the right meeting point between overabundance and vacancy.  This point of convergence is always shifting, always changing.  But it is through this tension from each polarity where we find contentment and movement.

There’s one lesson that I have learned over the years in regards to my yoga practice- at least one that is coming to mind- and that is: you never really settle into a pose.  You are constantly working, adjusting, and staying mindful of your position.   A harmony arises between the right amount of effort and non-effort.  You are always working the asana.  There is force, without being forceful.  There is ease, but you are never being lazy.  In a physical respect, I always like to ask myself whether or not I can smile.  If not, I need to back off.  But of course yoga is like peeling back an endless onion, and is not just a physical discipline.

            This type of mindset can also be applied to other aspects of your life, and does not hold solely for a yoga practice.  But just because we do not settle, does not mean that we feel unsettled- and this is an important distinction.  We can always be enthusiastic to move forward and improve while also being perfectly happy and content where we are before the move, right here right now.

            It is healthy to look forward, to plan, and to dream.  Whether we our working on our personalities, our mental habits, our aspirations, or our day-to-day, it is important to have a vision and act from that place.  But, the drive should not come from a desire to reach that place.  Much sadness arises when we live like this because we are acknowledging a disparity.  We must be able to look forward, but also bring ourselves back to the present and work in that space.

Taking the Side of Perfection

“…And only now can I say, after the experience I had on the side of the river where I was alone in the dead of night with the primordial sound of nature all around, contemplating, when I had a complete turnabout and revelation concerning how I had been living my life- I now wanted some way of putting that feeling of absolute peace and serenity and harmonious solitude into my own day-to-day.  It seems to me entirely reasonable to suspect- maybe meaning something or maybe not- that the swell of being comes to a head from time to time, without knowing or reason or a flash to suspect, that no reflection or vivid memory can recount that divine sense of living, of being alive, when the universe dissolves in the palm your hand and becomes you- we put our heads down and carry along just waiting for the next crazy adventure to consume us.”

-Extracted from One Subtle Tempest

There is one facet of experience that can never be taught, never be given to an individual- and that is the feeling one becomes acquainted with when the I of the self fades away, when the vacuous space between one soul and another becomes a current that runs through the body, and when the mindset instantly shifts from the perception of division to a sense of perfect unity and harmony.  It is at this juncture when we must decide for ourselves whether or not to live from this space and seek it out as our life’s work, or to let it fade away, perhaps taking what we need in the process.  But graveyards are full of middling swordsmen, and this sort of light and love only fills those who choose carry it with every step along their path.

We all have a dharma.  A tree has a dharma; a fish has a dharma, a deer, even the fly that buzzes in your house and the small plankton swimming in the sea.  We can only know what our nature is, and carry it out in the best way we know how.  For a very long period of time I used to be angry about the battle I have had with Lyme disease, and other chronic health concerns and their lasting aftereffects.  I wasn’t angry about anything I did in particular.  In fact, many things were perhaps completely out of my control.  But I was just angry- angry at my situation, the past, what could have been different.  But, my point is that if this sort of aimless rage goes untreated, it turns itself onto every other situation in your life, resembling resentment and discontent.  But just like we cannot blame the people in our lives that put us down, I cannot blame the tick for carrying out it’s dharma- that is, to survive and attach to a host.  It was doing what it knew how, carrying out it’s dharma.  You see, we all live together in this harmonious dance.  We all live from the same source, the same one fountain of divine love and perfection.  We must see everything- the traffic on our way to work, the rain that doesn’t cease for a week, the leaves falling from a tree- as perfect.  When we remove our thoughts and beliefs about our life, and try to think what that would mean in a year, two, a hundred, or even five-hundred thousand years- the small trivial worries begin to fade and a shift happens.  We become a fly on the wall.  We learn to live and enjoy living in this dance.  Because wherever we are, whatever has happened, is surely perfect.

So if you question this post, ask yourself a something.  If you have the choice to see you life as perfect or flawed- and could not be sure about the truth of either state- why not choose the side of your favor and decide for yourself that it is certain and live from that place?

I think what I envy the most about any other, seemingly forceful man, is his overwhelming sense of a clear vision.  Unhindered, luminous, commanding this vision drives a man forward and gives him something to live for, dynamically.  Drives his soul forward through the world, gives purpose and harmony to the mind, the body, the spirit.

I keep telling myself that when I stumble across these urges, that I will surrender to them- that is, relinquish any resistance, or force, imposed upon these insights, which may limit their full blossoming.  That I will find my commanding voice, my vision, my passion.

Well…I have had one of these insights tonight.  And I am writing it down.

I have engaged in quite a lot of self-harm throughout my 24 years.  Self-harm can come in many forms.  But for me mainly it pertains to violent thoughts about myself, thoughts that manifest into fear, obsessions, divisions and anxiety.  And I believe that I have found one integral step to help me reverse this disorder.  Stop eating meat.  And while I will not divulge into specifics- here are some reasons:

I keep hearing, and stumbling across, the phrase, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”  Well, what I wish to see is the cessation of all violence- that being, all outward expressions of savagery as well as the abolition of the onslaught of murderous thoughts that flood our brain throughout the days and nights.  Constantly we pick at our bodies and our habits emphasize our division between the people around us as well as the animals around us.  For this reason, I can not actively participate, and consume other flesh, in the knowing that I have taken another’s life- particularly when I have had no control over how that animal was raised, fed, and eventually killed.

I think we to often forget that the food we consume also carries with it a life force.  In biological terms, you could think about it as the live enzymes or micronutrients that exist in your food, and slowly decrease the longer the food has been removed from its source.  I think everyone could agree that there is no comparison to a carrot bought in the store and one that is still screaming after you plucked it out of the ground.  In addition, we no longer really pay attention to all of the things that we put in our bodies, what preservatives or chemicals are in particular products, what ingredients are in this or that.  Food has lost its meaning to us and no longer feeds our souls.  Yes, perhaps, food still has profound cultural meaning and in a social respect still has value.  But, we ignore that all conscious beings come from one source, one love, one divine energy- It may very well be possible, that by limiting the amount of meat I eat, I could limit the amount of fear, and sadness, and cruelty transferred to me by the animals who experienced these emotions during their days.

I want so very badly to have a strong vision and live by it, to transport myself to a place where the opinions of others have no hold on me.  I want to see an end to the cruelty man has imposed upon animals within the modern machine.  I want fear, and hate, and killing to be absent from my thoughts and actions.  These are the wishes I intend to be fulfilled.  That is all for now.

An Inkling

It is not so very often that I find myself worked into an unintended fervor, when the very scope of my being is placed into such a perspective, and the meaning of my life revealed with such clarity- but it happened tonight, and has been happening for some time now with more frequent a reoccurrence.  I don’t know how to explain it, exactly.  It’s almost as if I find myself transported for a brief time.  As if for no apparent reason at all, no provocation, my sensibilities begin to shift.  It begins with a laugh, no maybe an internal one- a smile.  It doesn’t matter whether or not the energy that preceded it was of a positive nature or injurious to my energetic consistency- in either respect I find myself increasingly aware of the intention that comes before the shift, and I find that mindfulness most invigorating and releasing.  The beauty lies in seeing either design as simple and perfect and exactly as it should be.  My aim is not to give credence to the view that every event is preordained.  In another way, my position- rather, the development of my position during this “shift”- is simply that of relaxing into a state of deep contentment.  And that is the initial phase.

Next, it’s as if my chest balloons with a great expansiveness, as if it fills with the love of all the world.  But it doesn’t create a tension.  It’s almost as if you’re bleeding out, or melting in with all this love.  The sensation is warm, it’s impressive, and it’s moving.  It comes with an understanding that within the depths of each and every one of us lies a profound rapture for all things, for ourselves, for the blade of grass that blows in the westerly winds, for the lone tree that sits atop a hill and never says a word- an admiration for every experience that lies within the spectrum of our exposure.  Compassion.  This inspiration is accompanied by visual images, a more universal receptiveness, and perhaps a considering that the slight urges driving my body forth in this time and space once propelled me in another.  And because this whole process is new, I have an inquisitive mind.  I start wondering how the whole process began, the method of it’s unfolding.  The brevity of the occurrence puzzles me, and why I cannot choose to remain in such a heavenly state.  But there is one style of feeling that endures.  Every time that I find myself immersed by such a circumstance, I know that it is no accident.  I know that with each subsequent occurrence, the one that follows will be even easier to prompt.  And then, I know that these shifts will have made such an impression on my heart that there is no going back; there is no returning.  The sway from such a love will have reached a critical point.  And while I know it will take some diligence to remain transfixed by that love, the influence of that sway will remain with me forever.

And for the sake of this journaling I’ll divulge specifics (also taking into account my declining stamina for this craft)- that is, some personal realizations I had on this day.  First is how profoundly I can read someone’s intentions.  That their mere presence alters my body in such a way that I too feel their impulses.  Not what their exact move may be, but whether or not that move is driven with a good intention- whether or not their heart is pure.  And every once in a while this sensation is joined by the representation of colors that flash before my eyes- a divine collage that only my gut knowing can interpret.  That is the best way I know how to explain it.  It is not an image; rather a story being told about that person in the form of a painting which actualizes before me.  I have always been somewhat more adeptly tuned into the minutia than anyone else I have met in my life.  I notice the small ticks, the subtle noises that a person makes, the way they hold their eyes or the rest of their body, the slight inflections of the voice, the tiny dirt speck in the corner of a floor, the trail someone leaves behind whilst moving through a room- my ability to notice the unnoticeable is an attribute I used to hold with contempt.  It used to drive me mad that I could hear and see all of these things.  I could not separate myself from them.  I was (and possibly still am) not able to view these happenings objectively.  My body actually transforms to accommodate the intentions of others and the circumstances around me.  If I see someone holding tension in their body, I too hold that tension.  But I am getting thicker skin.  And what I once used to view as obsessive or irrational is a skill that has its place in something more transcendent.  That is the first realization.

Second, and lastly for the evening, is my recognition of the universality of an urge.  And I’ll keep this brief, for it is an idea relatively premature and novel to me.  But I have an inkling that I have peered through the keyhole of time and laid my sights on lifetimes that I have lived before.  That all the likes and dislikes, and I mean to say the passions truly, have come from a life that is currently not perceived to be my own.  Each and every time I find myself pulled to feel a particular way, this too is accompanied by a visual image- an old worn out mental memory too blurry, or not vivid enough to yet make out.  But there is a perception deep within myself, a brilliant and sophisticated knowing, of an energetic conduit that has passed from one lifetime to the next and now it has found myself, here in this body, and that is all I can say.  I have just scratched the surface.  I dare say that there is still much more exploring.

Love For Others

There is a source of perfect love and grace within us all, and until we find that foundation for ourselves, loving others will always drain us.  This could be perceived as a negative assessment of love, and could discourage you from sharing love with others- but this is entirely not the case.  In fact, it is the exact opposite.

We go about our lives; we have good days and bad.  On the good days we may smile to the man who bags our groceries, and on the bad we may not make eye contact with a friend or drive too fast to work.  We believe that these moments, which make an impression on us, are either harmonious or stressful.  The decision is rooted in our perception, and it affects how we digest these experiences.

But the real truth lies beneath our conception of the feelings we create for ourselves.  The origin of everything- every laugh, every smile, every tragedy, every loss- is a fountain of infinite enchantment, always present and always waiting for us.  The secret lies in the moment we decide for ourselves that every single thing we do or say or feel about others has its source in love and grace.  Until that moment, we cannot actually give the true source of love and grace- only a component of that love.  An energetic cousin.  This is the factor that drains us, because it has not come from that infinite source.

This does not mean that you should not give your love to others.  It means that the only thing you truly can give is love.  That any other way is draining.  I understand that to surrender to this concept, at first, may not seem natural.  We have been conditioned to believe that life is hard, that bad things can happen to good people, that happiness is rooted in particular monetary or sexual situations.  But maybe try it for a day.  Take the leap.  Tell yourself that you love yourself, that the reason anything has happened to you is love and watch the events of your life begin to change.  The entirety of the world will unfold before your eyes and it is beautiful.

Love For Oneself

It has taken me a long while to come to the realization that I love my body.  That no matter the state of my mental or physical self, I will always strive to make it better.

            I truly do believe that people are born with differing capacities for self-love, that their constitutions at birth are determined for them by a divine combination of environment and genetics.  And while this matter is outside of our understanding at the time, we will always have the ability to take what we have and shape our constitution for betterment, even going as far as constructing a new archetype with an aptitude for unlimited love.  Joyful-loving-kindness, our primordial and intended nature, transcends any and all boundaries currently established by beliefs held on neural or physiological plasticity.

            There is a fine line between analytics and criticality; both are qualities that allow us to discern a situation and judge how to appropriately act or react.  But this astute discrimination has now extended itself to a mentality that no longer provides for our favor in the realm of self-love.  What I mean by this is that we have to be able to be critical.  We have to be able to go about our day and read people’s body language, digest maybe what their wearing, how they hold themselves, or what they say and react appropriately.  Perception is not only a quality important for our lives socially, for our communication skills, or for our advancement in the world of 10,000 things, but it is a skill fundamental and necessary in this regard.  But instead of using this attribute for the sole purpose of betterment, we now critique other people nonsensically- maybe we think the shoes they are wearing are ugly, or they have a stupid looking face, or their haircut is unattractive.  If you find yourself having any of these sorts of thoughts, most likely you are making the same sort of judgments to yourself.  Maybe you find yourself looking in the mirror and feeling as if you’re fat, or you wish you had bigger biceps so you tell yourself that you’re going to go to the gym and cut out carbs, and eventually you get to the point where you create rules for yourself about what you can eat and how often you have to exercise.  All of these restrictions only emphasize the cycle of self-loathing that begins with a simple glance in the mirror and a subsequent thought.  But the point here is that until you decide for yourself that you love your body no matter how you came into this world, you will never have the awareness to recognize your constitution or tap into the potential for unlimited love available to us.

Having love for yourself is not an egotistical sort of love.  It should not be confused with admiration.  Love is a state of mind we reach when we discover the beauty of our bodies, marvel at the beauty of others, and lose the desire to have expectations for how we or anybody else should be.  When we find love for ourselves we find harmony in this dance.  We go about our day, we act without judgment, we take it all in.

Anger

We have all these opportunities throughout the day to get angry.  Each and every time we have the choice to either let the anger become us or let it pass through us.

            It is an odd thing to think about anger as a choice- that going for any emotion in fact- but a transformation in the body occurs when an emotion takes hold.  But, there is an initial process where, if we catch it, we can consciously decide whether to let the anger reside in us for a while or observe it passing through.  If we do let the emotion take hold of us, the body reacts chemically.  Perhaps we tighten our muscles in a certain area of the body, our heart rate increases, or there is a flush of adrenaline- in all of these cases we are reacting.

            The most challenging situation once an emotion has engaged us is releasing the anger.  A good question to ask yourself is, “Does this emotion benefit anyone?  Is this anger currently helping me?”  There is an adaptogenic explanation behind each and every cellular reaction in our body.  The “fight or flight” response of adrenaline and norepinephrine is one of the most commonly referred to sympathetic nervous system reactions that occurs when the body is under stress.  Ten thousand years ago this was an extremely valued physical reaction to prime the system to run from serious threats such as tigers or an invading tribe, but in today’s social climate, it is a response initiated more frequently.  It has become a learned response.  Maybe we get angry while driving to work, we have our cup of coffee and spill some on our shirt and that upsets us, maybe our boss is being unkind- the list goes on and on.  But what we don’t think about happening is that when we call on our body to release particular hormones under stressful conditions, we are neglecting other important systems.  Our body becomes flush with glucose and fat for heightened muscle function, digestion becomes neglected, we have narrowed vision and loss of hearing- all of these actions are occurring to best aid us for the immediate situation.  However we are affected later on becomes background noise to get us through the present moment.

            Sometimes it is best to take a breath, or other times to try and take a step away from the anger.  When we can separate ourselves distinctly from the emotion we can observe the anger entering our body and then leaving.  Too often we only notice an emotion being incited, sometimes it is best to take note of the emotion leaving, simply by saying “gone” or taking note that the emotion has left.  This can make the transition away from the anger more swift, and consciously we have decided that we are not angry any more.  The body and the mind remember this.  It shortens the duration we have been angry, but most importantly the anger doesn’t make a lasting impression on us.  If we do not notice the anger leaving, we do not have a distinct time duration for which we are angry, and the body can remain tense for whatever or however long.

Anger is one of the most consuming and detrimental of emotions, along with fear and hopelessness: The Big Three.  But perhaps the best antidote is laughter.  Ask yourself, “In regards to what is currently making me angry, does it really even matter?  Isn’t it funny that this made me angry?  Maybe this time I won’t let it bother me.”  And have a laugh.  Then we notice that the anger is gone.

Kathi's Healing

Healing.

What does healing truly mean??  The essence and interpretation of healing has different implications for everyone.  Healing comes in many forms, some need to heal emotionally some need to heal physically and  often the two go hand in hand.  All human beings need to heal in one form or another, so what is the meaning of this?

 Healing is a necessary "progression" of the soul.  It is a journey that we as human beings have to take on in order to evolve.   An individuals struggle with pain (physical or emotional) is necessary in order to mend.  Because of this,  healing brings us a freedom that no other exposure, can match.    Our struggles bring us a wisdom and understanding that could not be taught in any other form.  Our soul is on a path.  The path is a metaphor for our life's experiences that help us to grow and expand.  These experiences unfold and can be used as a means of self discovery, gradually helping us to become conscious of ourselves.  

"Every situation,

properly perceived,

becomes an opportunity to heal."

A Course in Miracles

We are surrounded by many different methods to aid us in the healing process, there is something for everyone.  Sound, crystals, religion, spirituality, doctors, medications, meditations, healers, psychics, books, tapes, support groups, vacations…these are all a few tools that are meant in one form or another to heal a human body or "spirit".  We seem to get the necessity of this, yet we are not taught anything about it, it is something that each of us must discover in our own time and in our own way.   The course of our own healing must be highly individualized.  No two human beings have the same body or the same life experiences.  True healing is self-healing.

""No one saves us but ourselves.

No one can and no one may.

We ourselves must walk the path."

Buddah

Whether it is emotional or physical, all healing begins the your heart.   By starting in your heart and loving yourself you will heal yourself.  By loving yourself you give yourself self worth and in turn will shine a light upon your brother….what a difference this can make.

"In every community there is work to be done.

In every nation there are wounds to heal.

In every heart there is the power to do it."

Marianne Williamson

If I love myself, I love you,

If I love you, I love myself."

Rumi

With your desire to be healed you heal others, what an amazing world we live in!

Namaste

Healing

In order to heal, the desire to heal must evaporate entirely.

            At first, this idea may seem counterintuitive.  You could argue that to move forward with anything, whether it is healing or a job promotion, that you must have desire, that every developing action is induced by the drive to do so.  And, yes, desire must exist, but there is good desire and bad desire.  The discrepancy resides in our interpretation of the word and how it is implemented.

            Even if you place your intention on healing, on actualizing a perfectly healthy self somewhere in the future, that perfectly healthy self will never exist because you are creating a reality that does not and will never provide the conditions for a perfect self.  The simple act of wanting to heal creates a manifest self that is currently, and presently, not healed.  There is no distinction between believing that you can heal or believing that you can’t, in either case the answer/result lies somewhere outside yourself in the future or somewhere else- that you are not presently perfect and healed.  The only difference is that the latter case constructs a certainty in which you presently do not have the capacity to do so.

            Being perfectly healthy is about having a healthy soul, that is, coming to an understanding that no matter the state of your physical body, that everything is as it should be.  When we disengage from desire, we surrender and accept our current state.  It is through this process that we better feel the present moment, and no longer react to the emotions that relentlessly flood our system from day to day.  Desire is rooted in a need.  Desire rooted in a need has its source in being unsettled.  Being unsettled goes hand in hand with searching.  When one no longer searches, one awakens.  This is the foundation for acceptance.

            Perfect health is a state of being where the soul no longer searches.  The concept “everything happens for a reason” holds under the theory of predestination, whereas, coming to an understanding that everything is as it should be, is a separate state entirely.  Things and events are placed before us, not because they’ve already been decided, but because we choose not to let them alter us from our primordial state of natural and unconditional love.  When we come to this understanding, truly, down to our bones, we will heal because we already have.

When I wake
It is no fault of mine
That flowers, in full petal bloom
Drift upon the sky to meet the stars

When I wake
There are no dreams but the great one
The great divide
The great unrest

We can only for so long
Tip toe across the glass
And let our mind play games
     with an illusion

And then the worries fade
And the trees stop swaying
And I float to heaven as a God

1st Verse

As dawn breaks, a special silence comes-

            When the eye of the world returns

            When the eye of the world begins again

There is no way to describe the beginning,

            Nor is there really ever an again

The mystery

The untold eternity

We place our faith in a volcanic realm