I think what I envy the most about any other, seemingly forceful man, is his overwhelming sense of a clear vision.  Unhindered, luminous, commanding this vision drives a man forward and gives him something to live for, dynamically.  Drives his soul forward through the world, gives purpose and harmony to the mind, the body, the spirit.

I keep telling myself that when I stumble across these urges, that I will surrender to them- that is, relinquish any resistance, or force, imposed upon these insights, which may limit their full blossoming.  That I will find my commanding voice, my vision, my passion.

Well…I have had one of these insights tonight.  And I am writing it down.

I have engaged in quite a lot of self-harm throughout my 24 years.  Self-harm can come in many forms.  But for me mainly it pertains to violent thoughts about myself, thoughts that manifest into fear, obsessions, divisions and anxiety.  And I believe that I have found one integral step to help me reverse this disorder.  Stop eating meat.  And while I will not divulge into specifics- here are some reasons:

I keep hearing, and stumbling across, the phrase, “be the change you wish to see in the world.”  Well, what I wish to see is the cessation of all violence- that being, all outward expressions of savagery as well as the abolition of the onslaught of murderous thoughts that flood our brain throughout the days and nights.  Constantly we pick at our bodies and our habits emphasize our division between the people around us as well as the animals around us.  For this reason, I can not actively participate, and consume other flesh, in the knowing that I have taken another’s life- particularly when I have had no control over how that animal was raised, fed, and eventually killed.

I think we to often forget that the food we consume also carries with it a life force.  In biological terms, you could think about it as the live enzymes or micronutrients that exist in your food, and slowly decrease the longer the food has been removed from its source.  I think everyone could agree that there is no comparison to a carrot bought in the store and one that is still screaming after you plucked it out of the ground.  In addition, we no longer really pay attention to all of the things that we put in our bodies, what preservatives or chemicals are in particular products, what ingredients are in this or that.  Food has lost its meaning to us and no longer feeds our souls.  Yes, perhaps, food still has profound cultural meaning and in a social respect still has value.  But, we ignore that all conscious beings come from one source, one love, one divine energy- It may very well be possible, that by limiting the amount of meat I eat, I could limit the amount of fear, and sadness, and cruelty transferred to me by the animals who experienced these emotions during their days.

I want so very badly to have a strong vision and live by it, to transport myself to a place where the opinions of others have no hold on me.  I want to see an end to the cruelty man has imposed upon animals within the modern machine.  I want fear, and hate, and killing to be absent from my thoughts and actions.  These are the wishes I intend to be fulfilled.  That is all for now.